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Buck Walters
Year Round Fool
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By the time you read this it will be, or
have already been April Fools Day (aka April 1). Did anyone
get it good? I mean got so good you practically jump into
the boat chasing the bait and hook?
I used to get had nearly every year by a
friend of mine, Mark. The last time he got me, and the last
time I will ever be had by Mark, he had a friend of
his that I did not know call saying he was from the county
morgue...I won't go on any further. It was cruel and unusual,
and I have to admit admiringly, very well done! It took me
about 10 minutes before it dawned on me what day it was and
that, just maybe I was fooled again. Since then I've been
learned my lesson and I'm on guard all day and all night on
April 1.
But just because I can't take it doesn't
mean I can't dish it out! Here are a couple of good ones I've
pulled on my Mom and kid brother (go ahead and try them, your
loved ones will love you for it, or kick you outta your house!):
1. Sweet Shower
Unscrew the shower head and put some Kool-Aid powder behind
the filter. The victim will be surprised when a bright, sticky
mess comes pouring down. Surprised may not be strong enough
a word here.
2. Very Alarming!
Set the victim’s alarm clock for the middle of the night
and hide it somewhere in the room where they will have to
get up and scramble around to turn it off. A real thigh slapper!
3. Drive them Buggy!
Put a raisin in your victim's drink (coffee, cola, orange
juice, etc.) When they get to the bottom, they'll think there
is a bug in their drink. Let the hilarity ensue!
I may be the original April Fool, but it
pleases me that I'm not the only sucker out there. Here are
some of my favorite food related (just to kind of keep this
on-topic) April Fools Pranks:
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Spaghetti Picker
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The Swiss Spaghetti Harvest
In 1957 the respected BBC news show Panorama announced that
thanks to a very mild winter and the virtual elimination of
the dreaded spaghetti weevil, Swiss farmers were enjoying
a bumper spaghetti crop. It accompanied this announcement
with footage of Swiss peasants pulling strands of spaghetti
down from trees. Huge numbers of viewers were taken in, and
many called up wanting to know how they could grow their own
spaghetti trees. To this question, the BBC diplomatically
replied that they should "place a sprig of spaghetti
in a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best."
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Edison
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Thomas Edison Invents Food Machine
After Thomas Edison invented the phonograph in 1877, Americans
firmly believed that there were no limits to his genius. Therefore,
when the New York Graphic announced in 1878 that Edison had
invented a machine that could transform soil directly into
cereal and water directly into wine, thereby ending the problem
of world hunger, it found no shortage of willing believers.
Newspapers throughout America copied the article, heaping
lavish praise on Edison. The conservative Buffalo Commercial
Advertiser was particularly effusive in its praise, waxing
eloquent about Edison's brilliance in a long editorial. The
Graphic took the liberty of reprinting the Advertiser's editorial
in full, placing above it a simple, two-word headline: "They
Bite!"
Left Handed Whoppers
In 1998, Burger King ran an ad in USA Today, saying that people
could get a Whopper for left-handed people whose condiments
were designed to drip out the right side.
Whistling Carrots
In 2002 the British supermarket chain Tesco published an advertisement
in The Sun announcing the successful development of a genetically
modified 'whistling carrot.' The ad explained that the carrots
had been specially engineered to grow with tapered airholes
in their side. When fully cooked, these airholes caused the
vegetable to whistle.
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Taco Bell Ad
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Taco Liberty Bell
In 1996, Taco Bell took out a full-page advertisement in The
New York Times announcing that they had purchased the Liberty
Bell to "reduce the country's debt" and renamed
it the "Taco Liberty Bell." When asked about the
sale, White House press secretary Mike McCurry replied with
tongue in cheek that the Lincoln Memorial had also been sold
and would henceforth be known as the Ford Lincoln Mercury
Memorial.
My favorite quote on April Fools Day is
from Mark Twain:
"This is the day upon which we are reminded of what
we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four."
Cynical? Who ever accused Mark Twain of
that!
It sounds like my motto, if you ask me! But I'll gladly play
the part of the fool. It's my job here every month.
Pass the Tabasco! - Buck
If
you have any feedback for Buck, you may e-mail him at
this address. Please allow a certain amount of time for
Buck to respond, as he does not own a computer of his own
and has to share his e-mail with his mother (whom he lives
with). She spends 90% of her waking moments on a scrapbooking
chat group, along with other support groups that deal with
issues involved when your children RETURN home in their 30's.
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